Last Day

Today a year ago was the last full day that I had Daniel with me, a day before I would take him to visit his father without seeing him again .

This last day that we had together was significant, happy and sweet, just like every other day I had with Daniel.

Daniel and I slept until late that morning. As we came back from holiday the previous night and he slept for so long in the car, I expected him to be up early but he just woke up to ask for his bottle with warm milk before cuddling back to sleep with me. Since he was a baby it was one of our favourite treats to stay in bed for a bit more sleep after waking up and that was how we spent our last morning together.

Later that day I took Daniel for a drive through the mountains It was a beautiful afternoon in many ways and I wrote all about it in an earlier post with the title "Dreams and Wishes"

As Daniel was a child with very clear ideas about exactly what he wanted and exactly how it should happen it was very important to him to make sure that other person (mostly me) understood what he needed. He explained to me that he wanted to go to his dad when we came back from holiday and so the visit was arranged. I told him that I would take him the following day and his confirmed it with a phone call.

But to make sure I knew what to do, Daniel presented me with a photo of his father and firmly said:

"This is my dad!" (as if I didn't know who his dad was), followed by

"And I want to go there!"

I just smiled and said "Yes, I know" wondering about his sweet serious underestimation of my intelligence and thinking how much I love him.

Much later that evening he asked if I could play with him. I said yes and asked what he wanted to play. He said I must take Barney and he will take Simba from The Lion King and we must talk. Daniel enjoyed these role play games and often used it as a way to tell me about himself and about what is happening in his life. So we started our conversation, me as Barney and Daniel as Simba.

Simba:     Hello, who are you?

Barney:    I am Barney and who are you?

Simba:     I am Simba.

Simba:     Barney, what are you doing?

Barney:    I am talking to Simba. And Simba, what are you doing?

Simba:     I am looking for my son….

Said in the saddest tone of voice and so Daniel continued on his own, as Simba, searching the house, looking everywhere for his son.

He did it in such an intense and sad way that I agreed with Alecia to "ban" the Lion King movies and books from our house.

If we only knew that Daniel wasn't acting out a scene from a Walt Disney movie, he showed us our future, in only four days we would all be like Simba, searching in distress and deep sadness, looking everywhere for our lost son.