Too Young To Die

I wish I knew that Daniel had a father who would a betray the love, admiration and trust of his son in the worst, most severe way possible but I didn’t know that. I believed that Daniel was safe at his father’s house, that they are taking care of him without fail, that he was as precious to his father as he was to me.

Daniel died while he was visiting his Dad. There are so many contradicting versions of what really happened that day. I have many unanswered questions and a strong feeling of unease about the alleged sequence of events. There are however some sure facts:
Daniel drowned in their swimming pool

The pool is unfenced and was left open without cover or safety net

Daniel was alone outside or he was on his own inside the house with free access to the pool
His dad wasn't at home after specifically asking me to fetch Daniel in the afternoon oppose to the morning as he wanted to spend the day with his son.

When Daniel’s father and his wife eventually arrived with Daniel at the hospital, my son was already dead

His dad called me at work crying, telling me that something terrible has happened, that we have lost Daniel. The phone call that no parent ever want to receive. A few seconds, a few words and my life changed forever.

I live in a different town and the 2 hour drive to get to the hospital felt like days. It was an emergency for me to get there as soon as possible as in my heart I believed that there was still something I, as his mother could do to bring him back to life.

At the hospital I walked into the room where Daniel was laying – on his own only covered by a thin sheet. He was perfect and beautiful but so cold and I went to ask for a blanket to put over him.

I kissed him, stroked his hair, comforted him with my words and presence. I was filled with a complexity of feelings, all mixed up, a very intense painful strange combination of disbelief, anger, sadness, hopelessness, unreality, physical pain, devastation, confusion.
The day when Daniel died.