Weekend Away

Dearest Daniel

I went this weekend to a dam to go sailing with a friend on his yacht - he thought it would help to ease my pain about losing you and my deep heartache about your birthday tomorrow.

I was so sad to be there because I knew how much you would have loved it there. To stay in the caravan under the trees next to the water, sleeping in my arms on the small bed. You would have loved the boat, the water, the wind and the sun.

There was also a play area with many friends your age and I could just imagine you joining them in their fun and laughter.

I looked at all the parents with who had their precious children still with them and I thought how lucky and how blessed they were.

I wish it was today 4 years ago, the day before you were born because then I still had the nearly 4 happiest years of my life, being with you still ahead of me. Now it is just this empty longing for you, my Angel Danny Boy.

I miss you so much. I want to hold you, kiss you. stroke your hair never to let go of you again. I pray to see you soon my baby. May God not punish me with a long life, may I also die soon.

I love you dearest Daniel, my Piki-man, Pikkewyntjie.

Mamma

(I want to do something special for you tomorrow but I have no idea what to do or where to go, just again and again know that my love is always with you.)