Owen's Mom

After Daniel had died, I searched the internet for blogs about parent's like me. Parents who lost children. I wrote to them and they responded to me with love and kindness.

Thank you so much to Linda and her precious Owen, Daniel and Kim (Elena's parents), Alice who lost her own little Daniel, Erin who had to say good bye to Charlotte. Your emails, comments, thoughts, prayers, encouragement mean so much to me and have brought light to help me through some of my heavy, darker moments. You are indeed special parents and special people.

The email below was sent to me by Linda - Owen's mom.
Oh, my dear friend halfway around the world, we are connected by loss. What misfortune deems this possible? We were not friends before our children died. We are friends now. We are friends in grief, and therefore, friends for life.

I cry as I write this, for I know your loss, your agony, your sleepless nights, your screaming days. Thank you for the email you sent today. We're connected now. It makes no difference that we live on different continents. Our sameness, is that we are mothers who miss our boys more than we would miss our own breath, if it were taken from us.In most of our waking hours, it feels as though breath, indeed, has been taken, by an entity we cannot fully describe, nor want to.

If I may, let me breathe your next breath for you. If I may, let me scream your next scream. If I may, let me sleep for you when you are fitful in the night (and there will be many of those nights). If I only could, my friend, I truly would. I've spent so many of those nights, they would not come to me without warning - and I would take them from you, if only I could...

These are the early days of loss. They will become the later days, and then...the later days again. You will not forget Daniel, your Danny Boy. You will remember him as the light, the love, the precious gift, your very own special boy. And, those of us who are out here remembering the early days of our childrens' losses, will hold you in our arms when your body shakes, and your voice finally goes quiet from the crying.

We will hold you up, as others have held us. We are here, and you are in our arms, breathing you into the future, your future. We are carrying you when you cannot walk...and when you can barely stand another sunrise, we will be here holding you up. You will always be Danny's mother. That will never change. Yours is not an easy path. Nor are any of ours. And, that is why we hold hands and walk together on this rugged road. No one can do it alone.

Love to you on this journey,
Linda Owen's mom