Showing posts with label Birthdays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birthdays. Show all posts

Happy Birthday Dearest Daniel


Dearest Daniel

Today will always be your day, my Darling. We remember you and we miss you in every possible way. We try to imagine you turning seven, in a life where we haven't lost you. We cry, we ache, we long, we wish for you to still be here. But most of all we love you. We love you more than all the world and all the stars and everything else, forever and ever.

Have a happy birthday, precious Pikkewyntjie.

Mamma, Neni and Lecia.




Sharing A Wish

The beautiful ecard below was sent to me on Daniel's birthday, from Debbie. We know each other only through this blog and some email communication. She wrote to me that she felt so helpless as there was nothing that she could do other than to tell that she cared - but it is the most that any person possibly can do to make things better for me. Just care.

Happy Birthday Dearest Daniel

The photo was taken on the day that Daniel and I came home from the hospital after he was born. It felt so right when I had Daniel in my arms that I never tried to put him to sleep in his own bed, I just cuddled with him until he (and sometimes me too) fell asleep. I am still sure that he was the happiest baby in the world and that I was the happiest mom. It made me feel so complete in myself, being the mom of my three children. Whenever I thought of my unique but perfect little family, my heart spontaneously overflowed with pure joy.
Dearest Daniel

Happy happy birthday. You would have been a glorious 5 years old today and I imagined  what I would have given to you for your birthday today

A day at the beach
A birthday cake with 500 candles (as you could never get enough of blowing out candles
All the Walt Disney movies that were released the past year
A first outing to the movies, to see Toy Story 3, don’t worry Darling, I won't forget the popcorn
A big bag of extra pieces to add to your wooden train set
An illustrated hardcover version of The House on Pooh Corner
Something Ben10 ( I just guess this being the ”in thing” for 5 year old boys)

Most of all I wish and want to give you the one impossible gift, giving you your life back.

Like every other day, I want to kiss you and give you the biggest sweetest Mamma hug ever. I want to touch your face and stroke you hair. I want you, my Angel.

Take care my Danieltjie, I hold you close in my heart and I give to you my love, like always, Mamma x x x

No Tomorrow

I took out these photos of Henry and Alecia, when they were respectively 5 years old.

I wanted to imagine Daniel at the same age but my thoughts became like a vague dream, accompanied by a deep sadness and many tears. I will never know.

See, it is Daniel's birthday tomorrow. He would have turned 5.

The Little Schoolhouse

I was a work from home mom until Daniel was 3 and a half and ready to go to nursery school. He was getting bored at home and wanted friends of his own age to play and interact with. My search for the perfect nursery school and a perfect 3 year old nursery school teacher began. I searched the internet, asked friends of friends of friends for input and recommendations. I even spoke to strangers with small children finding out where their children went to school.

Armed with a list of nursery schools and addresses I drove to every possible school to find the best for Daniel. Some received a big "no" straight away, some a "maybe" but the big "yes this is what I want for my Daniel" came the day I went to check out The Little Schoolhouse. I was immediately impressed by their good security regulations, fully walled premises, double gates with intercom and video surveillance. Non parents were only allowed entrance by appointment. As a parent I can today confirm that at The Little School House safety of the children is an all inclusive non compromising priority.

A school where I knew my child would be safe and when I met Ezelle, the school principal and she showed me the school I also knew that my child would be happy there. At The Little Schoolhouse in Rustenburg the energy is warm, caring and understanding and they take so much care to ensure emotional, spiritual, intellectual and physical growth and well being of the precious little human beings left in their care.

My next concern was about the person who would be Daniel's first teacher –how could I dream at the time that Teacher Elize would also be Daniel's last and only teacher in what turned out to be his short sweet life. Teacher Elize is a wonderful person and I will never forget her love and understanding for a unique boy who has never gone to school before.

Daniel loved his school and his Teacher Elize big time and who will ever forget how he wore his school T-shirt day and night just after I bought it for him. He insisted the Teacher Elize bought it for him and I was so glad that I had the wisdom to buy 2 blue Little Schoolhouse shirts.

Daniel also adored his friends, he called them his Noddy fwends....and we played an imaginary hide and seek game with them every morning when we arrived at the school. "Where are they? Up in the tree? No? In the class? No? Watching TV? Yes!!!" He made sure that I knew to invite them ALL for his 4th birthday party coming up.

The birthday that he would never reach and a new year at school that he would never start. He drowned the day before he would have gone back to school after the December holidays.
To: Ezelle, Jaconette, Teacher Elize and all the other teachers, staff, parents and friends from The Little Schoolhouse,

Thank you so so much from me and from Daniel for:
  • coming to his funeral
  • the happy time you gave to Daniel
  • caring about Daniel as if he was your own
  • Teacher Elize for my beautiful CD that I still play in my car
  • all the tears that has flown from your hearts after losing Daniel
  • allowing me to sit in his Noddy class and follow his small footsteps
  • letting me feel welcome to come back to his school after he had died
  • every little friend who missed Daniel and asked when was coming back
  • all the parents who prayed for me and who still keep us in their thoughts and hearts.
How sad that we were all deprived from the pleasure of having Daniel with us; his wisdom, personality, intelligence, sweetness and love. I miss it every day. I know you do to.

Alison

Happy Birthday Dear Daniel

Happy birthday dearest Daniel

We were both looking forward to today with excitement and happy anticipation. I never imagined it without you.

I wanted to do something special and symbolic for you but in the end everything looked so empty and senseless. There is nothing that can ever replace what would have been your 4th birthday.

I am so sorry that your life had to end before the dreams you had for today could come true. You were so deserving of the love, pleasure and happiness that would have surrounded you today, like all other days, but with extra attention on you and with an awareness of how special and precious you are to the world.Your day to celebrate you.

My day was spend lost in my thoughts, memories and dreams of you, me, Neni and Lecia.

With love, smiles, hugs and kisses
Mamma

Dreams And Wishes

Today is a week before Daniel's birthday. Next week Monday he would have turned 4.

He was so excited about his birthday and about having a birthday party. For no specific reason other than wanting to spend some alone time with him, I took Daniel for an Friday afternoon drive on the 2nd of January. We listened to music, he later slept for a while and when he woke up I stopped to buy ice cream, "green" chippies and cold drink before heading back home.

We spoke about going back to school after the holidays and then, once again recited the sequence of birthdays shared between his 2 families:


First was Hendri's birthday in May - the day on which this photo was taken;

then at the end of December was Alecia's birthday;

coming up would be my birthday in January;

his Dad's birthday in February;

and finally…Daniel's birthday in March!


He was so excited about about having a party. He asked for a Spiderman cake and named all the friends to be invited.

When I asked what he wanted for his birthday present, he said that he wanted a small camera - to take photos of animals.

His father is a professional photographer and it touched my heart that Daniel's real wish was not so much about getting a camera. It was to be like his Dad.