Grains Of Sand

Tomorrow will be 4 months since Daniel died but it feels like a life time, a life time of intense pain, sorrow, longing, confusion and agony. I love Daniel and miss my child more than words can say.

I wonder

.....how many tears I have cried. Would it be filling a bucket? Like the one we used to build sand castles or are my tears as many as all the drops in the ocean

.....about the day when I have no more pictures left of Daniel to post on this blog. How sad I will be?

.....how I will get over the mountain that Mother's Day has become and if it is in any way possible to just skip the day. Friday, Saturday, Monday, Tuesday?