Our Home

After Daniel had died, I never went back to our home other than to pack up everything. Henry and Alecia's things went with them to their dad. A few pieces of furniture, one box with some of my personal things and everything that was Daniel's went into storage. The rest I gave away. I couldn't bear the thought of opening the same fridge not seeing Daniel's food inside or having to wash clothes in the same washing machine that I used to wash Daniel's clothes. Same with our TV, DVD player, everything I had in my kitchen, curtains, linen and other things we had in our house content. It was 13 months ago when I closed the door of our home for the last time and I drove away knowing that the life I had with my 3 children will never be again.

Today I wrote on Facebook that I was happier than I ever thought I could possibly be after Daniel had died.

l love my work and everything about it – not only what I do, but also the company I work for and all the super amazingly awesome people I work with. I look forward to go to the office every day, which is such a blessing.

Tomorrow I am moving for the first time into my own place again. I am so excited about it. And I will have Henry and Alecia with me for the entire Easter school holiday. I am fetching them early tomorrow morning from the airport and with me they will come home to my new house for the first time. 

I know that we will all three feel the aching awareness of Daniel not being with us as our pain is collective and ever present. We will always want Daniel.


debbie said...

Alison, I never know quite what to write, but I'm glad your kids are coming and you'll be in your own place again. I am happy that you are happier than you thought you would be and that you love your job - that really is such a blessing. I am amazed at your willingness to share your feelings and also to be thankful for little things after losing Daniel. I'm thinking of you everyday.

Anonymous said...

Alison you have come a long way from that very dreadfull day a year ago, how far you have travelled not only in distance but in mind body and soul too, I wish you every success as only you deserve it and your two kids too.Reading your blog I have often wondered how do you ever recover from such a loss , a deep wrenching pain! you are a gifted and beautifull person.Be blessed on your new journey.

Anee said...

dis fantasties ek kry sommer hoendervleis van lekker kry! ek kom volgende week by julle 'n draai maak, sê as jy hulp nodig het!

Jose said...

Awesome!!! Jesus kom toe al die eer - jy is Syne - Hy het jou by jou naam geroep...Die feit dat jou seun veilig en in heerlikheid by Hom is bring vrede...die gemis sal daar altyd wees, maar ook die mooi herinneringe. Laat jou lig skyn in hierdie donker w... See Moreêreld...en wees 'n rots vir ander wat nog hierdie verliese gaan ly...ek glo dis jou roeping...Laat weet wanneer ons kan kom kuier!!! Sien uit om die kinders te ontmoet...Laat weet as ek kan help met die trek...die bakkie is tot jou diens...hehehe!!

Hannli said...

So bly vir jou!

Chatterbox said...

I am not very sure how to put the countless thoughts racing in my mind in words.
I am glad that time has given you the opportunity and strength to move ahead from the tough moments of a year ago.
I am touched by your ability to put in words the deep hurt and pain that left you so raw after what happened.

My best wishes for the times ahead.


debbie said...

Alison, have you seen this site? http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/
If you go to the Our Mission tab you can read about the lady and watch a video of her talking about her story.