Love Will Never Die

In the book April Fool's Day Bryce Courtenay celebrates the life of his son Damon and describes the difficulties of coming to terms with his tragic death.

The postscript was written by Celeste, Damon's girlfriend:

Most of the time, I am extremely happy. I feel as though I have received a beautiful blessing, something that will last all my life. Sometimes, however, I still deeply long for the physical Damon, even though I feel him close to me all the time. He and I engage in a constant silent dialogue, a dialogue of thoughts and feelings rather than of words and touches. Some days I feel hopelessly old and a bit too wise for my years. I feel marked by the weight of my experience, rather than uplifted by my learning and love. And then Damon will rush into my thoughts and I will smile and lose my seriousness and be just like anybody else again. The lovely smiling image I have of Damon will remind me that love is an energy - it can neither be created or destroyed. It just is and always will be, giving meaning to life and direction to goodness. Our love will never die.
I am not exactly where she is but many of her touching words ring true for me - if I ever will be extremely happy in this life again, I cannot believe as my extreme happiness died the day I lost my Daniel.


Denise said...

I hope too one day I'll be able to say I'm truly happy where I stand in life. The words she wrote are real. Without touch & sound, we rely on thoughts & feelings.
Now...I feel when I think of Angie it's because she's close to me...but it's so hard to smile. For me it's just tears...and my touch wiping them away....

Thank you Alison...I needed to read those words right now.


(via Facebook)

Sheye said...

Hi Ally
I'm so, so sorry to hear of your loss of Daniel. I had a look at your blog and immediately thought what a gorgeous boy and then remembered how I used to hate hearing that about Ava.. I didn't want to know how special and beautiful she was - it made the pain feel even worse for a moment. I hope me mentioning how gorgeous your Daniel is doesn't cause that for you.
It's so early for you, six months is nothing and in some ways is even worse than the early days as you don't have that shock that helps you breathe through the early days. Please just be gentle with yourself as much as you can, get as much help as you can and know that you will find a day where the pain doesn't suffocate you. I know it seems totally impossible to imagine right now but I promise you, it does not always stay like this. I wish I could go back and write as much as possible early on as I don't remember what I used to and I hate that.
I wish there was something I could say to you but there isn't. Time is the only thing, filled with remembering as much as possible and honoring your precious boy..and eventually it does get easier. I am here to vent to if you need.
Love to you and your beautiful family.
Sheye x