I heard the familiar melodies of nursery rhymes while we turned around, going up and down. The mothers laughed and sang along holding little ones in laughter and love. Tears were streaming down my face and for a moment I wondered why, just for a second or two before I remembered that I had lost my Daniel.
Next to me were a mother and her daughter. The little girl had pink in her hair and purple hearts painted on her cheeks. I reached out to stroke the girl's hair and she looked back at me, confused then pulled away into her mother's arms. It was the wrong carousel, a place where there was no place for me.
Our ride ended and I went looking for a quiet spot to sit.
The girl from the carousel holding her mother's hand later found me there where I was sitting against a wall hugging my knees to my chest.
The girl asked me why I was crying, her mother said that they had seen me before being so sad. I told them about Daniel. The girl took my hand while her mother handed her a bracelet. It was their special gift to me, a beautiful bracelet made from seashells.
I felt love as they walked away and I looked at the pretty charms around my wrist. I knew.
I knew in my dream just as I know now that Daniel will never be lost. He is with me. Every moment. Close to my heart, not only in my dreams but also in my world.
Ancient Mexican philosophy explains the shell as a symbol of birth, generation and origins, that is to say, of life itself.