Even Though Your Gone

Dearest Danny

I found us another song. My baby, I miss you and wish I had some understanding why you were killed by people who professed to love you. Why couldn't I see through the facade? I am so sorry for what has been done to you. You would not in a million years deserve any neglect, let alone to a degree that would cost your life. My precious, precious little Pikkewyntjie.

The world is so strange. You were so innocent, sweet, perfect when your life was put on the gambling stake while the odds against your survival were high. You were far too young and vulnerable to take care of yourself. What they did to you was no accident - an accident happens when we have done everything we possibly can to minimise or eliminate any known risks. You were willingly and wantonly left in a life threatening environment without any protection but for your father's arrogant hope and false assurance that "nothing will happen to you". He left your life in the shaky, unsteady hands of lady luck.

You were let down big time by one of the person's you trusted most, your Dada Charles.

The world is a strange place dear Danny. Look at me. I am old, broken, without purpose, a burden to my family and friends. You were young, beautiful, healthy and much needed. You wanted life and you die while I want death but have to live. All mixed up, isn't it?

I wish the time for us be mammadaniel again comes soon. This Mamma and Daniel so separated from each other is not how we are. We are mammadaniel.

My lovely child, I kiss you all over, tickling you with love until you beg me in between our carefree laughter to please stop the "hieeer kom die soentjie masjien" (heeeere comes the kissing machine).

Be well my angel. I can hear your voice.
Words are not enough
For me to say how much I miss you
You, flew away too soon
I feel so alone not with you

But when I close my eyes
Every night
I hear your voice like an angel
And you're here again by my side
I swear I hear your words
They sing through me
And I'm back where I belong
You are here even though you are gone

You're here, everywhere I go
Deep inside my heart forever
And one, one sweet day I know
We will be back together

But until we are, here in the dark
I hear your voice like an angel
And I know inside you're there
And I know that inside you'll live on


William H. Balzac said...

What you carry in your heart
will keep you strong.


Anonymous said...

These are darks days, my friend. Hold tight to the light. The light is where Daniel will find you. All of us are to blame for the loss of young life. So many things we should have done, should have noticed, should have acknowledged, should have been. I hold you up, my friend. Daniel holds you up. Look up. Look to the sky. Look to the light that holds your precious child. Look inside, too, and you will find him.

Owen's mom