Look At The Stars (Yellow)

Dearest Daniel

You know how much I miss you and how I cry for you every single day. The pain I feel is not something I would be able to endure for years and years and years, that is something I know.

I wish I could understand what went so wrong that you had to pay with your life. Where was the disconnect between what I believed I saw in your father and the reality? 

How could anyone not care about our life? And as they didn't care for you why came and take you away from me and Neni and Lecia and all the other people that love you so much. Any of us would have given our lives for you, my Angel Danny, if only we had known. 

I love you more than I can say, more than I can express, more than I can show, more than anyone can comprehend.

I walk with you in my heart everywhere I go and I fall asleep each night imaging holding you in my arms. 

I feel your spirit.

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And all the things that you do.
They are all yellow.

Your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
And you know
You know I love you so.

Namaste, my dearest Daniel. 

I see you. Always.

Mamma x x x


Jinxi said...

Oh gosh, this is so touching and beautiful! Thank you for sharing it.
Your love is so evident and I can just tell what an amazing mom you are.

Thank you for the very kind words on my website. It means so much to me and I'm so happy that our paths crossed.

Hugs, Jinxi

Groves said...

The heartache is more than anyone can bear, and there is no easing it. Going on is pure torture. I wish you did not have to do it and that Daniel was in your arms again.

Have you read this book, by chance?

An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination
by Elizabeth McCracken

I have a feeling you might love it as much as I did. Here is a little taste.

"Once upon a time, before I knew anything about the subject, a woman told me that I should write a book about the lighter side of losing a child.
(This is not that book.)"

"It seemed like the saddest thing I'd ever heard, back before I knew how sad things could get."

I got it from the library here; perhaps they have it where you are, too.

Mourning Daniel with you again today. There are no words for pain this deep and unyielding. It swallows all of life.

Thinking of you,

Cathy in Missouri

Hennie said...

dink aan jou Alison

Nelia said...

Ek dink baie aan jou en wat jy moet deurgaan.Kan nie maklik wees nie.Sterkte.

Belinda said...

I am crying tears, of heartache for you, Alison. I don`t understand, how a perfect little soul, had to move on, and leave a broken Mommy`s heart behind. This is one of the questions, I wish someone had the right, answer for me. x