How We Live

From : Sputnik Sweetheart (Haruki Murakami)

"So that's how we live our lives. No matter how deep and fatal the loss, no matter how important the thing that's stolen from us--that's snatched right out of our hands - even if we are left completely changed, with only the outer layer of skin from before, we continue to play out our lives this way, in silence. We draw ever nearer to the end of our allotted span of time, bidding it farewell as it trails off behind. Repeating, often adroitly, the endless deeds of the everyday. Leaving behind a feeling of immeasurable emptiness."


Groves said...

Your pictures with Daniel - and the pictures of him alone - are some of the best I've seen. They stay with me and I think about you. I don't know how to describe much "soul" there. His face is filled with so much light and love, and your love for him flows all through.

I am so sad and sorry that you had him ripped away from you. No wonder that day was the worst ever.

I am very touched by your deep love for him - but all too aware of the very deep suffering that comes with it.

Your quotes always make me pause and I feel thankful for them, too.

What a special child Daniel is. I cannot say "was" - he still is, and he always will be.

Cathy in Missouri

Alison said...

Dearest Cathy

Thank you so much for your kind words, healing words that ease my pain and make me feel better.

Your observations are an answer to what I had hoped to achieve (amongst a few things) by writing this block. I want with all my heart for the world to see how soulful and special Daniel is, and how unfair, cruel and painful the physical separation was.

I am thankful for quotes :) English is my second language and I don't always find it easy to express myself. To be able to borrow words from someone else is a blessing. The quotes here are true reflections of what I feel in my heart.

Thank you for recognising that Daniel still "is" because his wonderful soul and sweet spirituality will be with us all forever.

God bless you, dear Cathy.


Groves said...

Dear Alison,

Your message was so kind. It had never hit me that English is not your first language, but I can see that it makes sense. I lived in Swaziland for a couple of years as a child (my father was a doctor there) - and we used to go to South Africa and travel around. You have such an amazing, vibrant country.

You have certainly done a remarkable job of sharing Daniel and letting him be known - no language barrier at all. Soulful is exactly the word I would use to describe him.

The additional burden laid on you by the *way* Daniel was taken from you has struck me from the first. The injustice of how you were treated, how your trust was betrayed, has to make the sorrow all the heavier (if that is even possible).

I do mourn the loss of your son. My heart breaks for you - and that does not do one thing to make your heartbreak less. I wish it could.

Thank you for writing about him. He is a person so worth knowing.

God bless you, too, Alison.


Cathy in Missouri
(I don't have a blog, but email is pouzel {at} juno {dot} com; it doesn't seem fair that I know how to reach you, but you don't have the same freedom :)

Denise said...

Very well put. All that is left is time....and emptiness.