Reality

From an email I received this week:

What's is your facebook status? Basically happy? Or what? How are you doing?

From my reply:

My facebook on Monday said “Alison is taking deep breaths” on Tuesday it said “Alison is crying a river” and on Wednesday “Alison treasures the love” and today it says “Alison hopes that good things will happen today”….. I am still so sad about Daniel and I miss him more and more and more.

I am really battling at the moment and I often think of the sea calling me. It will be so much easier to end it all oppose to try and cope with the pain. An unbearable pain without cure and without end. How is it humanly possible to live with this?

Everything else around me (work, friends, life) goes well but nothing can and ever will balance the scale. My sad reality.