Three Years


From my Facebook page, 2 days ago:
Three years without Daniel. It feels like a lifetime and also like just a moment ago, still unreal but also too real and more sad than words can say. We miss him every day, every second and find our comfort in the love we share, a love that will always be.

From a Skype chat with a friend, 3 days ago:
[2012/01/05 06:57PM] Alison Starbuck:
 tomorrow will most probably feel more empty than sad
 but you never know
 i also learned that these things are unpredictable
 i will just take the day as it comes
 and do whatever feels easiest for me
 i think i will be ok

From my heart, today:
I know now that I will probably ok regardless. I have no choice, if I managed to survive 3 years, I will survive the rest of my life. As sad as it may be. Even if I feel sure that no one can survive a heart as broken as mine.

It doesn't seem right or makes logical sense to me but this is how it is.

And this time of every year will be the time that Daniel died. It is more than just one day that marks another 365 days without him. It is a feeling that stretches over days from before Christmas until after his birthday in the beginning of March. I miss him more, feel sadder and every sorrowful emotion I had since he died keeps on surfacing in my heart and in my mind. I don't know what more to say or what to do more than just somehow making it through the minutes, hours and days. Until another year.

Until I die too.

9 comments:

Kat said...

Much love my friend Ali xx

Lizette said...

Sterkte met die dag. Dink aan julle en weet jy is in baie mense se gebede. Liefde

Teresa said...

I understand, Alison. I am so sorry for our pain, my friend :(

Lizane said...

Sterkte vriendin. Wens ek kon jou in watte toevou. Ma ek kan jou net aan God toevertrou. Xx

Natalie said...

You're in my thoughts and prayers! xxx

Hilde said...

Thinking of you!

Nelia said...

Ek dink aan jou.xo

Anonymous said...

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Pool Fence said...

Summer is here again, and drowning is the leading cause of death under the age of five. Many parents cannot even imagine how easily and fast it happens. Such a horrible accident. Our purpose is create awareness so parents won't go through that pain of losing a child. It must be very hard for you. So sorry for your pain. If you have a pool, get pool fence people!