The Child In The Grave

By Hans Christian Anderson (1859)

It was a very sad day, and every heart in the house felt the deepest grief; for the youngest child, a boy of four years old, the joy and hope of his parents, was dead. Two daughters, the elder of whom was going to be confirmed, still remained: they were both good, charming girls; but the lost child always seems the dearest; and when it is youngest, and a son, it makes the trial still more heavy. The sisters mourned as young hearts can mourn, and were especially grieved at the sight of their parents' sorrow. The father's heart was bowed down, but the mother sunk completely under the deep grief.

Day and night she had attended to the sick child, nursing and carrying it in her bosom, as a part of herself. She could not realize the fact that the child was dead, and must be laid in a coffin to rest in the ground. She thought God could not take her darling little one from her; and when it did happen notwithstanding her hopes and her belief, and there could be no more doubt on the subject, she said in her feverish agony, "God does not know it. He has hard-hearted ministering spirits on earth, who do according to their own will, and heed not a mother's prayers."

Hole In My Heart

Time heals...but not everything.

While I recognise the parts of my life and of myself that have come an amazingly far way towards recovery over the past 16 months, there is also a part that will never be able to heal. Of all that may get better, how can having lost Daniel ever get better? It won't. For the rest of my life the intensity of my longing and the depth of my sorrow will remain with me, untouched and unchanged from the very day that Daniel had died, as will be the painful gaping hole in my heart.

Mother's Day

Fairy Godmother

She shares with me many precious memories of Daniel's first days and weeks and I will always be thankful for her support and companionship after Daniel was born – as a most amazing friend and for Daniel as his Fairy Godmother.

She moved to another city when Daniel was about 4 months old and as a farewell gift she gave me the collage.

I treasure it as symbolic of my energy and as a true reflection of my life after I had Daniel ,complete and filled with joy.